23 annoying questions literally every musician has to deal with
22 May 2020, 11:48 | Updated: 27 May 2020, 17:56
You’re a classical musician, and the world won’t stop asking you these things. We understand and sympathise.
-
Hey, why is your music full of hashtags?
Hashtags or sharps. Picture: Social media Psst. Not a hashtag.
-
I thought classical music was just for old people?
... ahem.
-
Lockdown must be so good for you, get so much practice done.
via GIPHY If by “good” you mean “financially draining”, then yes.
-
What have you got in there, a machine gun?!
Violin case. Picture: Getty “Bet you wish you played the flute!!”
*stony violin face*
-
Have you ever thought about getting a real job?
Aunt: You still trying to be a "musician" or did you get a real job?
— Nate Blasdell (@nateismfof) November 20, 2017
Me: You still trying to be in a "marriage" or did you get a divorce?#ThanksgivingClapBack pic.twitter.com/aak3Trved3BAM.
-
To a cellist: hey, I didn’t know you played guitar?
Anyways, here’s Wonderwall. Picture: Social media *sigh*
-
So what do you actually do all those hours you spend practising, just play the song?
via GIPHY I mean, you’re not far off.
-
Hey can you play that song from Twilight – what’s it called, Clair de lune?
via GIPHY I’m sure Debussy would be delighted to hear about his genre-bending legacy.
-
Why do you make all those weird faces when you perform?
It’s a fair question.
-
Yeah, I don’t really listen to old music
Dwayne Baroque. Picture: Classic FM Age is but a number, friend.
-
Your fingers are quite callousy. Have you ever thought about getting a manicure?
Finger calluses. Picture: Social media Does it look like that would work out for me?
-
Ah, you’re studying music. So you’re going to be a music teacher?
via GIPHY If it gets you off my back grandma, then yes, I am.
-
Oh you’re a singer? Have you thought about going on the X Factor?
via GIPHY Ha ha ha ha. I’m blocking your number.
-
Oh I can play piano too! *plays Chopsticks*
via GIPHY Sure, it’s the same.
-
You get paid £200 for an hour’s playing??? That’s so much!! You much be rich!!!
via GIPHY Sure, let me just mop my tears with all the spare money I have.
-
What do the black keys do?
via GIPHY My piano is not a toy.
-
Oh you’re a professional musician? We’d love you to play at our event. There won’t be a fee, but it will be good exposure for you.
Exposures. Picture: Social media So grateful, thk u xo
-
Can I hold your instrument?
via GIPHY And please stop touching my bow hair.
-
I’ve actually been writing some of my own music. Can I play it to you?
via GIPHY “A lot of my new stuff is pretty dark”
-
Oh you’re a musician. Play us something!
via GIPHY Leave me alone pls.
-
Ooh you play saxophone? Do you know Baker Street?
via GIPHY Nope. Never heard of it. Great suggestion.
-
Oh you play piano? Do you know any Elton John?
via GIPHY Sure, if it makes you happy.
-
I really love classical music. And opera, I’m so into opera. Operas like Phantom and Les Mis
Operas. Picture: Social media Guess it’s back to Dating Square One, then.
